Workaholism

Nowadays, “workaholism” is an accepted way of living in the world. I certainly know about it and what it can do. I’ve been a workaholic my whole life, beginning as a child when I believed I had to be perfect. As I grew, I got on the “get ahead no matter what” train and to make a long story short, ended up with serious “burnout” over the past couple of years. It affected my health to the point where I couldn’t work much if at all, and I just laid on the couch staring at the ceiling, which became a revelatory meditation to help me become aware of what the workaholic pattern had done to affect my health, emotions, relationships, work, etc. I realized that it was a habit pattern I developed early in life to cover my insecurities – if I could immerse myself in “doing” I wouldn’t have to deal with “being” where my vulnerabilities might be at risk. My ceiling meditations led me through a very dark passage, very difficult, very painful and frightening. But as I’ve been emerging from it over the past year, I’ve been very grateful for what it forced me to see: that I don’t have to cover my vulnerability since I now see it as a gentle strength that compliments my other strengths. At times, I still fall into the old “have to, have to, hurry up and do it” mode but can let it go as I become aware that I’m doing it – and am able to laugh at and with myself. In my work as a spiritual psychologist, I see so many people caught in the same web of pushing themselves into lifestyles and actions that are falsehoods about who they truly are. If you’re a recovering workaholic as I am, breathe with me, look into a mirror and see your True, Beautiful Self looking back at you. Many blessings.